Family Systems & Structural Therapy

We often come to therapy thinking, “If my partner would just change…” or “If we could just fix my child’s behavior…” everything would be fine. But true healing rarely happens in isolation.

At 70 West Counseling, we view your family as a complex, living ecosystem. When one person struggles, it sends ripples through the whole unit. We combine the insights of Family Systems Theory (understanding your history) with the practical tools of Structural Family Therapy (changing how you interact now) to help the entire family find a healthier, more peaceful rhythm.

Family Systems Theory teaches us that no one lives in a vacuum. We are all part of an emotional unit that strives for balance. If a parent is anxious, a child may “act out” to absorb that tension. If a couple is distant, a teenager might develop symptoms to draw them back together.

We move away from linear thinking (“A caused B”) to circular thinking (“A triggers B, which reinforces A”). By identifying these hidden loops, we stop looking for a “villain” and start changing the pattern.

Key Concept: Differentiation A major goal of this work is Differentiation of Self—the ability to be deeply connected to your family without losing your own identity or emotional stability. We help you learn to stay calm and grounded, even when the family system is anxious.

Building Healthy Boundaries in the Here-and-Now

While Family Systems examines the deep emotional currents, Structural Family Therapy examines the architecture of your daily life. Every family needs a structure—an invisible set of rules that organize how you interact.

We help you identify where that structure might be breaking down:

• Enmeshment: Boundaries are too weak. Everyone is overly involved in everyone else’s emotions. Children may act like parents, or in-laws may interfere with the couple.

• Disengagement: Boundaries are too rigid. Family members live in the same house but feel like strangers.

Key Concept: Hierarchy: For a family to feel safe, there must be a functional hierarchy. This doesn’t mean being authoritarian; it means parents are in charge of providing safety and structure so children are free to just be children.

The Evidence Base

Systemic therapies are among the most established frameworks in psychotherapy. Research consistently shows that treating the system is often far more effective than individual therapy alone, especially for children and adolescents.

When the “identified patient” (the one with the symptoms) gets better in isolation, the family often unknowingly pressures them to go back to old ways to maintain “familiarity.” By treating the structure and the system together, we ensure that change lasts because the environment itself has transformed.

Conditions We Treat

We use this blended systemic lens for:

• Parent-Child Conflict

• “Failure to Launch” in Young Adults

• Marital Conflict & Emotional Distance

• Blended Families & Step-Parenting

• Child & Teen Behavioral Issues

• In-Law & Extended Family Conflict